FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness means to “GIVE FOR” … to give love when it feels more like you want to get revenge or strike out because you feel hurt by something someone has done which you feel is wrong, harmful, mean, disrespectful … or what appears to be an attitude of total indifference. Whether an injury is real or perceived, when we hold onto anger and refuse to forgive we inevitably forfeit much of our own dignity and sense of self-worth. How many wars, lost friendships, lost loves, lost families result over the occurrence of perceived injuries to our human egos?

Holding onto blame and resentment hurts us in a myriad of ways. Physically, emotionally and, most sadly, spiritually.  We allow the hurt to fester like a wound. We go over and over the “facts”, each time, elaborating on what might have been, should have been, could have been if only our point of view had been the one that “won”. So we become stuck, mired in the muck of resentment. We lose a very precious and valuable piece of our higher selves, the selves we were meant to be when God created us.

The result is a headache, a stomachache … and sometimes a much more serious illness or injury. We do it over and over until a lightbulb goes on and we finally realize the futility of holding on to what harms us as surely as if someone shot us with a gun. In fact, physical injuries can often heal much more quickly than a soul in pain that finds no rest due to unforgiveness and resentment.

So, instead … The next time we feel angry, let us pause for a moment and breathe deeply. Let us imagine the soul and spirit of the person towards whom we hold anger and unforgiveness. Can you picture a shining soul in the middle of the guy who cut you off in traffic? The shining soul in the middle of your teenager who just left his dirty clothes lying around the bedroom floor yet again? The shining soul in the middle of your boss at work? THE SHINING SOUL IN THE MIDDLE OF YOU? For refusal to forgive oneself is just as damaging to our souls, hearts and total well-being.

Imagine all of us as little children in kindergarten learning day by day to play fairly with one another and growing into one giant family who chooses to love, support, and treat one another with tenderness. For the human family is indeed one family … a family created by God who loves us and forgives us beyond all error, beyond all human reasoning … the shining example for our own behavior. We have the tools we need planted within our hearts and souls and consciousness … the tools of love and forgiveness as the solution to all of the problems on our planet.

So, as much as we may wish to resist it, the bottom line is that in all instances of hurt - perceived or real - the only sane, gentle, loving and healthy response which tends to the “wounds” of our spirit is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a balm to the soul of not only the one forgiven but the one forgiving. It is truly a precious jewel in the crown of our humanity. It is the gift that keeps on giving … to others and to ourselves. Jesus set the perfect example when he forgave from the cross.