WHEN MY BODY SPEAKS TO ME

It seems to take a crisis in health or circumstances to cause me to pause and look closely at what is going on inside. These past couple of weeks I have faced health challenges which not only frightened me, but also caused me to pause and think more about who I really am, my power, my abilities and the amount of control I do indeed have over my body and my life. I’ve had to slow down and re-establish my connection with the Divine within me. Sitting quietly and patiently in the Silence of Prayer has proven to be far more powerful than any human medicine.

During these days of bodily, spiritual and emotional upheaval, I’ve learned greater perseverance, patience, and letting go and letting God be God in me. Most of my life I have battled with control issues, impatience and anger. I know the roots of these go far back into childhood. They have been embedded in my consciousness and, therefore, within the very cells of my body. What has grown from those “seeds” has been a harvest of fear, doubt and feelings of being powerless and unworthy. If I don’t pay attention, my body reacts … sometimes loudly and painfully. The pain is a “gift”, even if it is an unwelcome one.

If nothing else, illness slowed me down. I had to take precious time apart … sitting quietly, listening to peaceful music, sleeping with peaceful music, reading spiritual material and absorbing the lessons it teaches. And I have the precious gift of a powerful support system of those I love. When I fail to pay attention to what is going on inside, my body reacts … sometimes loudly and painfully. But pain can actually be a “gift” when it makes me reassess my priorities and my activities.

There is nothing more powerful than pain in my gut to grab my attention. Our gut is the center of our bodies, the solar plexus, the place of energy and intuition. We all have moments when we know “in our gut” that something is either right for us or wrong. The gut is not only where we process food. It is where we process our emotions. When negative emotions become “stuck” in our digestive track, food gets stuck as well.

Our gut - our solar plexus - is the place where our subconscious mind connects with our physical body. When we are stressed, the flow of life is blocked. We become “constipated” - not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I have been forced to acknowledge my emotions this past couple of weeks because they have been “churning” within me. They are linked to my intuitive self. So, what emotions and truths about myself have I been stuffing instead of acknowledging and allowing to flow freely? Fear, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, resentment?

Perhaps I’ve been ignoring my inner self and the wisdom it imparts to me. Maybe it is telling me I need to slow down, reassess my priorities, look at my values, gently examine my life and engage in acceptance - “warts and all”. Maybe it was even trying to tell me of my own worth, that I am far more powerful and creative than I believed, that I deserve to pause and rest. I slowed the pace, forgave my shortcomings and perceived flaws. And when I forgive myself and others, I receive the gift of peace to heart, soul, mind and body … a healing peace which allows the power of life to flow within and through me once again.

And, perhaps the greatest lesson of dis-ease is the realization that the present moment is the only moment there is. Living fully in the present in the now, appreciating God's love and gifts to us, is the momentum which carries us forward into a more fulfilling life.