AN UPDATE AND SOME LOVELY MEMORIES

Well, the meeting with Barbara from Find Me Home/Money Follows the Person visited with me yesterday. Our social worker brought her be and introduced me. I only knew her by her first name and had only spoken on the phone a few times. She provided me with LOTS of information, which is a bit daunting at this point. And I have to wait for approval. As it turns out I only have one year to find housing,so all those who said they had a waiting list more than one year are not going to be within my search.

Am I nervous? Just a bit daunted? Well, of course. This is just one more new thing for me to do. I've certainly made so many changes in my life already, more than most people probably. So that means I'm versatile, and that's a good thing. I'm also persistent, or what my mom used to call "just plain stubborn". True. Like the famed Missouri Mule, I am stubborn. And kind of proud of it. Frankly I have been through so many difficult things in my life, including childhood sexual abuse,which took years of therapy with many different therapists of various kinds. I've even done past life regression, for which some would think me loony tunes.

But it was interesting and eye-opening. I worked with a  true therapist, not some kooky fortune teller. He was a kind man, a respected man and knew the author of the book LIFE AFTER LIFE - Brian Weiss - a St. Louis native and a psychotherapist of good standing.

I've also worked in stores years ago who worked with clairvoyants, etc. So, yes, my background is varied and colorful. My life has not had all that many dull moments. Probably the "tamest" I've ever been is living the in the current nursing home. Here I draw and write and blog and have made drawings for lots of the residents and for those who work here. They are not usual artwork, though I've done that as well, especially back in the nineties when I drew for the horticulturists in the Japanese Garden of the Missouri Botanical Garden.

I hadn't been there in years. Last winter a friend from church took me. The Christmas decorations were still up, but there were so many wonderful additions since I had last been there. It was fascinating and beautiful. The Gateway Center is totally overhauled and beautiful with many more attractions within. 

Years ago I was a volunteer artist for the Japanese Botanical Garden. They liked my work because it followed the pattern of Koichi Kawana, who was the original designer of the Japanese Garden back in the 70's. I still have that portfolio with Sumi Ink drawings, and some pencil and charcoal drawings. My friend Greg took care of Teahouse Island and used to allow me to spend time there. Normally it was off limits except during Japanese Festival in August. This was way back in the 80's.

My friend Greg was drop-dead gorgeous. Even my mom thought he was as handsome as Rock Hudson. So this tells you how old I am, to remember who Rock Hudson was.

My mom was awesome. We had our issues in childhood, but as an adult we were best friends. When she died the Sunday after Thanksgiving in 2005, I felt like I had lost my best friend. I remember everyone else had left and I remained behind to wait for the funeral home to come and pickup her body. I remember the nurses coming in and warning me that when they deflated the mattress she was lying on, it might look like  she was still breathing. I didn't care. I sat there holding her hand until the funeral parlor gentlemen came to take her body.

My mom loved roses, which is probably where my love of roses comes from. Our long narrow backyard bloomed with rosebushes and lilacs ... lilacs all across the back yard, down the side yard and almost to the street. I used to watch her work in the garden and sit outside, and use twigs to build "houses". It was so much fun. The property had been an orchard many years before, so there were still  peach trees and grapes, the sour kind used to make wine. Of course, Missouri was and is wine country.

There was one amazing incident that happened in about 1984 when I was dating a guy whose parents had this huge house in Kirkwood. I was sleeping in the downstairs bedroom. I had been sick all night from eating hamburgers the night before, after one of his graduate classes at Maryville College. I was terribly ill that night. He was not. I couldn't go to work that morning, so I stayed in bed. It was quiet down there. It was probably about 9 am. I was dozing on and off, finally feeling better. Suddenly, though I had my eyes closed, I felt someone kiss my forehead and pull the covers up to my chin. I knew it was her,and I knew I was not dreaming or hallucinating. I'll never forget that beautiful moment for as long as I live.